It seems that many of the global problems humanity is facing are due to the fact that our  home, Earth, is being overpopulated. Since the Industrial Revolution, the world population has increased its size dramatically. While longevity is on the rise and the overall quality of life has improved significantly, we are far from eradicating hunger, crime, pollution, abuse and neglect. For a large portion of the world population, one or all of the above are a daily reality.

About 963 million people across the world suffer hunger (The Food Secutity Statistics, 2008), which is recognized as the most severe form of poverty (Hunger Report, 2004). This strikingly big number may sound unreal to those of us who have just enjoyed our delicious Starbucks treat. Even worse, we might have been desensitized to numbers ranging in the millions, or even billions, as we see them in the same sentence with bailout, debt, loan, equity, and so forth. In this case however, the number is as real as can be. 963 million people – each of these lives as important and meaningful as the next one. To begin to understand these statistics better, let’s break the numbers down: each day, about 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes (Black, Robert, Morris, Saul, & Jennifer Bryce. “Where and Why Are 10 Million Children Dying Every Year?” 2003). This means, one child perishes every five seconds, due to hunger. The more specific causes for these deaths might be chronic undernourishment, vitamin or mineral deficiencies, which, in turn, lead to heightened susceptibility to illness (Hunger Report, 2004).

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) starts its 2008 Annual Report with the following sentence: “Drugs, crime and terrorism remain three of the greatest threats to the peace, security and well-being of humanity”. Sadly, there is little place to argue the opposite. The number of inmates, in the US alone, is compelling: 2,310,984 (U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2008). This is a 0.8% increase from the number of 2007. However, the average annual growth from 2000 until 2007 was 2.4%. This means we have an estimated 509 sentenced prisoners per every 100,000 US residents. The number of female inmates is also rising, with numerous cases of pregnant inmates, whose inborn child never stood a chance of starting a ‘normal’ life.

When issues like these continue to describe our modern reality, i cannot help but wonder: Why do people have children? What is a good reason to have a child?

We addressed these question to students in an Introductory Psychology class. The responses were truly puzzling: “To have someone carry your name”, “To have a part of you stay after you’re gone”, “To keep a guy”, “To make your marriage work” and so on.

I stood there, in disbelief, shocked to hear what these young and smart people identified as the ‘reasons’ to have a child. Are these really good reasons for a commitment of this magnitude? If we are so desperate to have someone carry our name, aren’t we being purely egoistic? If we need to carry our genotype forward, we are certainly guided by evolutionary principles, but is this a good enough reason? If it takes a baby to make any guy stay with you, you might want to wonder if this guy is worth keeping, to begin with. If anything, a baby can be a strain on any happy marriage and is rarely prescribed as a remedial for a bad one. So, are these the right reasons? If college students, who thought about the issue, considered these their reasons, I am petrified to know what other people might say. Or do people even think about it? Has it just become the ‘normal’ thing to do – a routine of sorts – find a relationship, build a home, have children? Is it merely what our society considers appropriate? Is it something we do to feel good about ourselves? I hear parents taking such pride in the fact they have given life to another human being; people who think giving life is enough of itself and fail to look for their flaws when it comes to parenting. Is this mature and is it fair to the little person who is yet to come into this world and become part of the statistics (which statistics, we could not know yet)?

I happen to think that a good reason to have a child is the desire and possibility to raise a person of quality, who will contribute to society and might as well make the world a better place. I don’t find it trendy and I don’t think it’s cute either.  It is a serious matter of life and the greatest of all responsibilities. For this to be a success, one has to have a good game-plan. All of this, of course, has to be backed up by sincere love, commitment and stability. I do not mean to sound grotesque, or oversimplify complicated situations, but I sincerely believe this is an issue that each of us needs to consider very seriously and make a conscious decision. It would be sad, if something wonderful like a child would be something unwanted and unwelcome. As a professor of mine said: Imagine what a different place this world would be, if in order for a woman to conceive, both parents had to hold hands, look each other in the eyes and repeat thee times ‘I want to have a baby. I want to have a baby. I want to have a baby’ (M.J. Grant). What a different place that would be, indeed. Also, I do not think it is simply enough to give life (any living form can do this). More important is what we do to the life we have given. Do we abuse, or empower? Do we nurture, or neglect? Do we practice effective parenting, or do we fail miserably to connect?

Roger McIntire remarks: “We already license pilots, salesmen, scuba divers, plumbers, electricians, teachers, veterinarians, cab drivers, soil testers and television repairmen. … Are our TV sets and toilets more important to us than our children?” We even need marriage licenses! Then, why do we assume that our right to be parents is absolute and why do we take it so lightly? It is not an absolute right, it ought to be a privilege. Roger McIntire suggests further that licensing parents could be as simple as when you turn 18, you get the book and study it or take the course, then you take the written test, and the eye test, and if you pass, you get a beginner’s license, then you do some hands-on child care for maybe six months under the guidance of a licensed parent, and if you pass that part, you get your license, and if you don’t, maybe you try again in a while. We do it for almost anything else, why should this serious matter be any different?

There are millions of people in this world, who suffer starvation, diseases, low quality of life; millions of people who are being killed, abused or otherwise traumatized. If we are going to bring one more such life into the world, we have plenty already – why not try to take care of one of those.

The creation of life is a moral matter and requires serious moral examination, so ask yourself: Why have children?

Reactive Attachment Disorder:

Etiology, Symptoms, Affected Brain Areas and Treatment

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is characterized by considerably disturbed and inappropriate social interaction, across situations, that is manifested before the age of five (DSM-IV-R). Evidence for the disorder is usually seen in continuous failure to respond appropriately in social situations (being hypervigilant, inhibited, or ambivalent) and/or inability to develop and exhibit selective attachment to primary caregiver(s) (DSM-IV-R). The causes for the disturbed behavior in Reactive Attachment are associated with the developmental stages of Infancy and Early childhood, when pathogenic care can have profound and lasting effects. DSM-IV outlines three aspects of pathogenic care that explain the disturbance in normal development and behavior: persistent disregard for the child’s physical and emotional needs, as well as repeated changes of primary caregiver and/or surroundings. The connection between pathogenic care and disrupted behavior is compelling and reminds of the critical importance of nurture and effective parenting. Many psychologists have studied in depth child development during the first years of life and reveal that this is an extremely sensitive period for both physical and emotional development and maturation. It is a critical time for cultivating attachment, social skills, developing empathy and understanding basic values.

Maltreatment, no matter whether it is abuse, neglect, abandonment, or witnessing violence, can lead to enduring negative changes in the still developing brain of a child. Each time there is some sort of traumatic experience, the brain suffers a particular change. Many of the brain abnormalities that have been studied in abused and neglected children are located in the left hemisphere. Very often, in children, victims of abuse, there were fewer dendritic connections between different areas in the left hemisphere (Gunnar & Vazquez, 2001). Children that had showed such abnormal results demonstrated self-destructive or aggressive behavior, as well as certain disturbances in behavior, thinking and physiology (higher blood pressure, heart rates temperature, hyper vigilance) (Gunnar & Vazquez, 2001). Studies of neglected children found that their cortex was about 20 percent smaller than that of a control group of subjects (children) who have not suffered neglect (Gunnar & Vazquez, 2001). The data is compelling and reveals that providing stable environment of nurture is of utmost importance. About 1% of children who have developed insecure-ambivalent attachment develop RAD (Lehman and Jegtvig, 2004) and without intervention, support and help, many of these children might grow up to develop Antisocial Personality Disorder and live a disruptive life. Eventually, many of these individuals end up in correctional facilities. This compels helping professionals to promote and teach effective parenting and explain the implications of early childhood stress. In addition, the issue has to be considered within the context of adoption and foster care where, very often, children would be moved often and are being exposed to very different/inconsistent treatment and living conditions.

The non-pharmaceutical treatment of RAD appears to be more successful and beneficial than the behavioral medical model (Lehman and Jegtvig, 2004). It utilizes the attachment model as described by Dr. Daniel Hughes in his book “Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children.” The emphasis is on effective parenting - nurturing holding, eye-contact, providing opportunities for enjoyment, encouragement, unconditional love and being a model for self-regulation abilities (Daniel Hughes). Parents and caregivers are to love, nurture, accept and respect the child, so that he/she can grow healthy and happy. Also, professionals in the helping field need to unite their efforts in attempt to educate people and advocate affective parenting and children’s well-being.

Is it really true that our past is so powerful that it can control our future? It has been the chief task for many psychologists and people in the helping professions to identify different environmental factors and their positive or negative impact on human development. Different developmental theories emphasize the huge importance of early childhood experiences and the quality of the relationship with parents (caregivers) to the health and well being of the maturing individual. Both neglect and abuse in the earlier stages of life can lead to chemical imbalance, delay of mental development, depression or even some psychological disorders. It is crucial for optimal development that stable bonding and attachment are effectively developed in the early stages of life, as this has a lasting effect. If parents fail to create a secure environment and provide emotional support for the child, this can cause negative social interactions in the future, or their overall avoidance.

Many psychologists have studied child development during the first years of life in depth. This is an extremely sensitive period for both physical and emotional development and maturation. It is critical time for cultivating attachment, social skills, developing empathy and understanding basic values. During the first year of a baby’s life, in particular, emotional attachment with the primary caregiver(s) is established. In fact, the bond with the mother starts blooming only within hours of childbirth (Kaitz et al., 1995).

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth (1989) investigates different levels of attachment by observing mothers and their infants in an unfamiliar setting. The mother was asked to suddenly leave the room and then the baby’s reactions were being observed, especially upon the mother’s return. This study described three main types of attachment: securely attached children (enjoying a stable and positive emotional bond), insecure-avoidant attachment and insecure-ambivalent attachment (both depicting an anxious emotional bond). Ainsworth studied this cross-culturally, observing the same behavior and making the same conclusions. Children who are securely attached by the age 1 show more social competence, resilience and problem-solving abilities (Collins and Gunnar, 1990). The importance of both the mother and the father is crucial when it comes to meeting the baby’s affectional needs. Generally, a warm and secure family atmosphere with clear rules and expectations promotes secure attachment for the child (Belsky, 1996). On the other side, failure to meet these needs leads to insecure attachment, where anxiety usually characterizes the relationship. Insecure attachment (ambivalent or avoidant) and negative parental representations are positively correlated with depression in adolescents (Milne & Lancaster, 2001; Ollson, Nordstrom, Arinell & Knorring, 1999). Depressed and ill people tend to repel their family and friend instead of using them as a support group (Alferi, Carver, Antoni, Weiss & Duran, 2001; Coyne & Smith, 1991).

Psychologist Erik Erikson (1963) has also focused on the developmental stages, outlining the different developmental challenges. For the first years of life, the struggle is between forming a basic sense of trust or mistrust. This, once again, would have a lasting effect in life. If ‘trust’ is developed, the baby would become a healthy individual, who is equally able to give and receive love and trusts in other people and ‘good in life’. On the contrary, developing a basic sense of ‘mistrust’ might lower self-esteem and increase perceived distress.

Parents are the first and, probably, the most important support group for the growing individual. Social support that is provided from the parents and their role to create a stable and supportive environment has a long-term effect on health and one’s ability to cope with stressful events (Repetti et al., 2002). One study of college students found that students who reported having a lot of support from their parents were more likely to cope effectively with stressful events (Valentiner, Holahan, & Moos, 1994). Parental support also enabled students to cope better emotionally (Maunder & Hunter, 2001). A longitudinal study of undergraduate Harvard male students demonstrated that those who perceived to have had warm and close relationships with their parents were healthier 35 years later (Russek & Schwartz, 1997). On the contrary, males who did not report warm relationships with their parents in childhood were much more likely to be diagnosed with coronary artery disease, hypertensions, ulcers and alcoholism in Middle adulthood (Russek, Schwartz, Bell & Baldwin, 1998). In adult life, emotional support from a significant, intimate others is most important (Benson, Gross, Messer, Kellum & Passmore, 1991), but negative relationships with parent in earlier stages of life can lead to distress in interpersonal relationships later on.

Dear parents, be there for your baby and never forget there is no such thing as “spoiling an infant”.

Mothers who endanger the health and well being of their children are considered deviant, possibly, in almost all cultures in the world. Certainly, this is a sensitive and loaded topic that normally provokes strong societal response. The labeling of a deviant mother often involves the legislative system, child services and other governmental organizations. Beyond doubt, most people will agree it is absolutely deviant for an expectant mother to drink alcohol. However, is drinking during pregnancy a discussed issue in our society? Do we just assume that everyone is aware of the medical research on the negative effects of alcohol? Do we simply expect pregnant women to be responsible?

An adult’s decision making on behalf of a minor should serve the best interest of the child. The same should be true for a mother’s decisions that might affect her inborn baby. This is not a matter of personal choice anymore, as, inevitably, another life is to be affected.

Scientists explain, there are many poisonous substances – teratogens – that could be endangering the life of a fetus that is particularly vulnerable in this early stage of prenatal development. Alcohol is the most common teratogen (National Task Forces on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Affects, 2002). Teratogenic exposure of alcohol may cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) or Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE).

The life of the inborn child that is ‘poisoned’ with the alcohol can be severely impaired by a debilitating disorder such as FAS. With this syndrome, the alcohol ingested during pregnancy affects the normal development of the baby. Facial features are particularly vulnerable to change, especially the situation and opening of the eyes, ears and the upper lip of the baby.

Even if the newborn looks unharmed, alcohol could have still affected the brain, and more specifically the Central Nervous System, causing hyperactivity, poor concentration, impaired spatial reasoning, and mental retardation (Streissguth & Conner, 2001). In addition, the child has a slow physical growth and relatively small stature, compared to peers. The poor coordination, mental retardation, poor reasoning and judgment could profoundly affect the life of the child, making even the simple daily activities an impossible burden. Even if the condition of the child is not severe, there are, certainly some differences.

Alcoholics’ children who have never had a drink on their own still show distinct brain patterns that can only be compared to those of alcoholic adults (Agarwal, 2001). Scientists warn that children affected by FAS are at much greater risk of psychiatric problems. Also, they are more likely to engage in criminal behavior. Statistics reveal that more than 50% of children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome grow up to have trouble with the law. Many of the shocking homicide cases that have been covered in the press have involved a person, who was diagnosed with a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

On a macro level, it is shocking to learn how many people are affected directly, and how many more suffer the consequences around them. According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, 1 out of 500 children is “damaged” in certain degree because of the irresponsible alcohol consumption of the mother. Many of these children require special help and need to be included in specialized programs that yearly cost billions of dollars. Many of the children require special educations and face the Juvenile Justice System. By no means should this issue be underestimated, especially when data demonstrates a threatening growth of the rate of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome each year.

Scientist and physicians are not certain as to what amount of alcohol is dangerous. Some still advice pregnant women to have a glass of red whine, while others are strictly against such practice, saying: “No amount of alcohol is safe for the fetus.”

When a pregnant woman is drinking, do we have the right to intervene? Could we enforce our understanding and concern? As far as I know, there are no laws prohibiting ‘pregnant drinking’ although it does not sound to me like a bad idea. The irony is we try to protect young people from alcohol until the age of 21, but that is virtually  useless if we do not protect them prenatally.