Being able to recognize and perceive the positive aspect of each situation is perhaps the single most valuable ability we can possess. It creates a buffer zone against the stress we are all exposed to. It can give us comfort in difficult moments and motivate us when facing problems.

Many philosophers, writers, psychologists (especially Existential psychologists) and stress management experts talk about humans’ ultimate ability to choose. We always have a choice! If we cannot always change events, we are free to choose how to perceive these events, what to think of them and what to focus on.¹

Even when faced with the worst possible situation, we have the power to focus on the positive (How can this make me stronger? What can I learn from this? There are people out there suffering greater hardships than me. Is there any way I can help them?) while de-emphasizing the terrible side of things. Of course, this is easier said than done, but you can begin moving in this direction in little steps. Try developing selective awareness for the positive and make it a lifestyle.

Here are some little things you can do that will help you come to better know and cherish the positive things in your life.

1. Learn to accept compliments and congratulations.

I have often wondered why so many people are having a hard time accepting an honest compliment. I would say, “What a lovely dress!” and hear back, “What? This old thing!” At a dinner invitation I may congratulate the host on preparing such an abundant and delicious treat. At this point, I often receive, “Oh, it’s nothing really. I just put a few things together in a hurry.” . . . Puzzling, isn’t it?

Have I ever given such responses? It is quite possible, but I surely try to shift in a different direction. So, what are we really saying when we give such a response to an honest compliment? There are a few options: “I am not worthy of a compliment” or “I am not used to being complimented, so I can’t react adequately” , “I’m not used to people giving me credit for my looks/taste/abilities” and so on.¹ We have gotten so used to receiving criticism, we don’t even know how to accept a proper compliment. Sometimes, the feeling behind a compliment is sheer embarrassment. We feel embarrassed because someone has noticed something good about us! How ironic is that? Isn’t recognition what we generally want?  Someone has noticed a good thing in us/about us and is offering a friendly tap on the back – this is wonderful – accept it! There is nothing wrong with saying, “Thank you! I haven’t worn this dress in a long time, but I’m glad it still looks good” or “Thank you! I am truly glad you like the meal. I was trying to prepare a nice dinner for my guests to enjoy.”

Learning to accept compliments and congratulations will naturally take you to the next step . . .

2. Congratulate yourself.

I have to put a disclaimer here: I am not suggesting that we all should become obnoxious and self-absorbed, but there is nothing wrong about giving yourself credit for sincere effort, hard work or successful outcome. Our self-efficacy, the perception that we can face challenges and deal with problems effectively, is based on successful previous experience. If we never notice the progress we are doing, we can never build a sense of self-efficacy that can make us stronger and more determined in overcoming bigger challenges. This can be applied to virtually anything, from quitting smoking to being more productive at work. Give yourself credit for the effort and for the work. Notice the positive, the progress, every step of the way, and this will surely make the journey more pleasant and the goal closer to reach.

3. Take time to recognize the positive.

We are usually so consumed with daily routine and hassles that we don’t physically give ourselves the time to sit down and reflect. We move from one task to the next, often with a sense of urgency, we deal with distress and forget about contentment. Take some time of your day to spend with a good friend, only that friend is YOU. Reflect on the things that happened, offer support, an honest compliment and congratulations. If your best friend was in distress, wouldn’t you try to comfort him/her? Wouldn’t you try to pull them out of the dark hole they are in and show them the beauty outside? How are YOU any different? Why can’t you be your own best friend?!

Taking time to reflect on the positive can only take as little as a few minutes at the end of the day, while driving home from work, brushing your teeth, or before going to bed. Jot it down, if you wish to make it more tangible and keep a list for future reference. I’d say, you owe it to yourself.

References: 1.  Greenberg, J. S. (2011). Comprehensive Stress Management, 12th ed. McGraw Hill.

Monday morning musings … so many tasks, so many worries. When you have too much on your mind, it can overwhelm and paralyze you, so don’t even think about it too much… Just go out there and do what you have to do!

Monday morning musings … Everyone needs a little something with their coffee on Monday morning. I treat myself with positive thoughts. Want some?

Monday morning and I don’t sit around and wait. I’m in charge – an active creator of my own future.

Believe it or not, self-confidence is necessary for being and staying motivated. Self-confidence is our basic belief that we can successfully carry out activities and attain our goals. This makes it the first step to being motivated and energized if your life.

If you want to improve your everyday motivation, you first need to work on your self-confidence by doing the following:

• Set specific goals.

Don’t just talk about things in general. “I want to look great in a bikini next summer” or “I want to start reading more” are way too vague to be your goals. Besides, what are you saying exactly? What do “great” and “more” mean? Those are too subjective and so you can never be sure if you have reached your goal. You need to be more specific. For example, your goals can be: “I want to lose 15lbs by July 2011″ or “I want to read 6 books by New Year.”

• Make sure your goals are challenging, but attainable.

If you set up unrealistic goals for yourself, you are doomed to fail. Each failure only hurts your self-confidence and makes it more difficult to be motivated in the future, because you’ll be remembering all the times that you failed miserably. In order to set realistic goals you have to be real with yourself. No one knows you better than you! Forget about all the excuses you give to others. Forget about defenses and lies and see what’s left. Instead of “I’m too busy and stressed out to read in the evenings”, you should just give yourself the real version, “I’m too lazy in the evening and would rather vegetate in front of the TV than do anything else.”  Once you acknowledge the truth, you can begin to set your realistic goals.

• Visualize the steps you need to make to reach your goal.

A lot of research and studies of successful people show they are able to visualize the success ahead of time. Really think about where you want to get. How does that bikini look like? How do you look in it? Which books would you like to read? How would you feel after you’ve read them all? Hold that image in your mind’s eye and it becomes to be a powerful source of motivation.

• Advance in small steps.

If you try to tackle the big goal right away you may become overwhelmed, stressed out and hopeless. Instead, break it down into real small and manageable parts that you conquer victoriously one by one. “I will have salad with no dressing for dinner” or “I will read 30 pages tonight” is one thing you might do. Completing those will make you feel good about yourself and it is this ‘feeling good’ that makes the process of pushing yourself easier. In time, you’ll notice that you’re getting very good at it and will be able to kick it up a notch.

• Focus on the process of learning and acquiring a new skill, instead of comparing yourself to others.

If you compare yourself to the Victoria’s secret models or to people who destroy a book in a day, you might get discouraged and give up. You want to stay away from comparing yourself to those folks. Your goal is your own. It is accompanied by the unique strengths and weaknesses that you have. Some people are naturally slender, others are naturally fast readers. What does that have to do with you?! Focus on the process, cherish the progress that you make and take pride in the accomplishments, each step of the way.

• Get expert instructions.

Once you get on the right path of learning skills and forming the right habits, it is time to seek some expert instructions. If you can’t meet with a trainer or instructor, you are sure to find great information online, for free. Experts who really know their stuff well have blogs, participate in forums or write articles for bigger websites. Find expert instructions to make sure you are using the best and most efficient approach to achieving your goal. Educate yourself in the area you want to blossom in and that is a guaranteed self-confidence boost that will pay off big time.

• Get support and encouragement.

Yes, I did say that your goal is your own. It is often futile to set up goals for someone else. “I want to look great in a bikini because I want guys to like me” is the wrong approach. You should do thing for yourself, because you will like it, because it would be beneficial for you. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need encouragement from others. Let’s be real, it feels nice when we get a tap on the back for our efforts, so surround yourself with people who appreciate your hard work and support you.

• Regard failure as a sign that you need to try harder and not as a sign that you’re not good enough.

Sometimes you will fail. The sooner you accept this, the less frustration and disappointment you’ll face. Anyone who is trying a new thing is destined to fail now and then. Athletes, scientists, artists, actors – they have all been rejected, criticized or booed at some point of their careers. What distinguishes the truly successful people is that they do not internalize failure, but turn it into a driving force to work harder and get better.

• Last but not least, learn to cherish honest feedback (not to be confused with ‘great job’ comments).

Honest feedback is quite often plain old criticism and when given by the right person, is the most helpful tool for improvement you will ever get. Objective critique is not the enemy, it is your friend. I know it can hurt, but success and excellence come at a price, so be smart, man up and make criticism work for you.

The Achievement Motivation Inventory AMI (Schuler, Thornton, Frintrup & Mueller Hanson, 2004) is based on a new trait-oriented concept of Achievement Motivation that assumes it is build up of multiple interrelated components. Specifically, the Inventory employs 17 scales of measurement, 170 items total (each scale has ten items). The inventory is intended for use in work and employment context.

Accepting that achievement motivation is a personality construct, the authors of the AMI attempt to measure its different aspects that, expectedly, manifest themselves across situations. However, I am not convinced that achievement motivation is a rigid personality construct.

There is not much evidence to prove the theoretical background of the research and the inventory. People might be highly motivated in one situation, while uninterested in another. That is why the inventory could not be used in all situations with different populations. For example, it would not be a valid indicator of achievement motivation among students, who might be motivated in athletic performance, while not particularly involved in academic achievements. The opposite could be easily true, as well. Yet, an individual attending a job interview is expected to be interested in getting the position. In this scenario, the Achievement Motivation Inventory could accurately examine if the candidate scores high on certain dimensions of personality that are generally considered indicators of Achievement Motivation (Mental Measurement Yearbook).

One strength of the inventory is its multidimensional approach and multiple measurements. Instead of studying achievement motivation as a single universal personality construct, the authors view it as an intricate interplay of multiple aspects.

The inventory consists of 170 items that measure 17 different dimensions of Achievement Motivation. The items are presented in a Likert format, where the likert scale ranges from 1 (“does not apply at all”) to 7 (“applies fully to me”). The 17 dimensions that the authors use are: Compensatory effort, Competitiveness, Confidence in success, Dominance, Eagerness to learn, Engagement, Fearlessness, Flexibility, Flow, Goal Setting, Independence, Internality, Persistence, Preference for Difficult Tasks, Pride in productivity, Self-control and Status orientation. Each dimension is addressed by ten questions (Schuler, et.al., 2004). Scores can be quickly processed and plotted on a scale that signifies the relationship between dimensions, for each participant. In addition, the score profile can be immediately compared to percentile scores from a norm group from Germany and USA (N=2,178) (Mental Measurement Yearbook). The scores from the norm group are reported separately for males and females, which is necessary, because the relationship between gender and achievement motivation has not been studied.

Based on the norm sample, the authors analyze the reliability and validity in the Inventory Booklet. The test has a sufficiently high reliability. Total score reliability is very high (.96) and internal consistency reliability for different subscales range from α=0.66 (on Independence scale) to α=0.83 (on Confidence in Success and Preference for Difficult Tasks). Yet, it is important to keep in mind that the total score is not of much importance. The complete profile of a participant could give a better understanding when examined by a psychologist or the test administrator, who is familiar with the variety of dimensions and their relationship. Only three out of the 17 subscales had an internal consistency estimates less than α=0.70: Goal Setting α=0.69, Independence α=0.66 and Internality α=0.66. The test-retest reliability is considerably high, ranging from r=0.81 to r=0.89, for the different scales. These estimates are based on a two-week interval between trials. The overall reliability of the test is sufficient for research purposes. However, more attention and caution are recommended when assessing scores and making a placing, or employment decision. A professional who is familiar with the inventory, its theoretical background and the process of interpreting the score profiles should make such decisions.

The authors of the book provide a considerable body of data for the inventory’s validity. Again, it has been assessed on the basis of scores form the norm sample. The authors discuss content validity in the inventory’s manual. Content validity is supported by a brief literature review that indicates the theoretical basis for the different subscales. This examination of Content validity is hardly satisfactory, or totally convincing. Some of the scales, such as Confidence in success are not always positively correlated with achievement motivation (Feather, 1963).

The authors of the AMI also discuss criterion-related validity and construct validity. Expressly, they examine the relationship between certain AMI subscales and aspects of social desirability, as measured by the Balanced Inventory of Desirable Responding (BIDR). The correlation between AMI subscales and Self-Deception and Impression Management (BIDR) is not conclusive and cannot be considered strong evidence for Criterion or Construct Validity. The authors also examine the relationship between AMI scales and personality characteristics measured by the Revised NEO Personality Inventory. The existing correlations suggest the convergent and discriminant validity of the AMI subscales, as they are examined as personality constructs. Furthermore, the creators of the inventory examine criterion validity by correlating test scores with individual demographic characteristics, like age, gender and ethnicity. Overall, the validity of the Achievement Motivation Inventory is adequate, with certain limitations that have to be considered, especially when administering the test for practical purposes.

The factor structure of the AMI is analyzed as the interrelationship among the 17 dimensions, not as interrelationship among separate items. Factor analysis indicates the 17 subscales could be further organized as three main, more general constructs (Mental Measurement Yearbook).
Probable weakness of the AMI is rooted in the questionable, at times, reliability and validity. Measurements regarding three of the subscales (Self-Assurance, Ambition and Self-Control) are never presented. Furthermore, the lack of such data is not addressed and explained by the creators of the test.

Overall, the AMI is a new inventory design that enriches our understanding of achievement motivation and suggest it is a personality construct. Although such conclusion might be questionable, the approach is still efficient and effective in testing the concept when the need occurs (Krumboltz, 1957).
I would recommend the inventory for research purposes. It provides opportunity for multiple measures on a broad spectrum of personality constructs that can greatly increase the existing body of knowledge. The test could also be appropriate for measuring “job-related achievement Motivation” (Schuler et. Al, 2004). The inventory could be helpful to employers for personnel selection, personnel development and even professional counseling. Yet, this requires the test to be administered by a competent psychologist, or assessment specialist who is familiar with the constructs and the limitations of the inventory. I would not consider the AMI appropriate for the educational setting. The norm sample does not include students and the authors do not discuss achievement motivation in the academic field. Existing body of research indicates, academic performance could be influenced by other factors, such as Test Anxiety, Internal/External Locus of Control (Smith, 1975). Neither of these are found among the personality constructs that the AMI addresses. Therefore, its use in education is not recommended.